


loving you, a three acts story

by asiren (meliorismo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: But Not The Traditional Kind, Healthy Relationships, Love Triangles, M/M, Non-monogamous relationships, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliorismo/pseuds/asiren
Summary: a study about crushes.ORto love and to live and to love again.





	loving you, a three acts story

**Author's Note:**

> first: to verena, who loves this couple, every single side of it. fiz por você, construindo conteúdo nesse ship abandonado. all i do i do for love   
> second: my thank you to andie, for being the bravest beta reader in the whole world. nothing would ever get done without your support.   
> third: i wanted to write a story about crushes, confessions and mature ways to handle relationships. i also wanted to build something non-monogamous that were really soft, teenager-y and downright innocent. this is the final work and honestly, it's all about love.

**loving you, a three acts story**

 

You gorgeous piece of shit. 

I like you.

jeuden totanes

 

**i. kim jongin**

Sehun stared at the soccer team from the other side of the courtyard; Jongin was leaning against Luhan, laughing prettily about something. His personality was really simple and soft, so it was probably anything at all. Even if Sehun knew that, though, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering. 

“What do you think is happening?” Sehun asked his best friend, Yifan, who did not rise his eyes from the fashion magazine he was reading.

“How should I know”, he answered flatly. “I thought you were the expert.” 

Sehun rolled his eyes, bored from Yifan’s tactics. “I don’t know why you hate him.”

“Hate is such a strong word.” 

Zitao waved from the soccer group at Yifan, who smiled and waved back. They dated for awhile during sophomore year, and had carry on as friends as if nothing happened at all. Sehun was envious of their maturity. He didn’t think he could ever get over a heartbreak if he really liked someone. “Are you two back together?”

“Uh, no. Why would we.”

“I don’t know. You two are being just so  _ friendly  _ lately.”

Yifan smirked at him, condescending. “Oh, sweet baby Sehun. Are you jealous of him?”

“What? No! You’re such a liar, Yifan.”

“We should head back”, Yifan answered him, ignoring Sehun’s protests with the desinvolture of someone who was used to it. “Bell is about to ring.” 

Sehun smiled and nodded, grabbing his things and throwing everything with little finesse inside his blue backpack. Yifan, tall and lean as a cat, was texting someone on his phone, entirely put together with the grace of someone who was never taken by surprise. Every single notebook was already on his fashionable ‘male purse’, the pens protected by their Gucci case. Sehun hated him. Yifan had the confidence that no one under twenty eight should have. 

Before he entered the school central building, though, he looked behind him, at the soccer team, who were all still laughing about something or another. All of them, but Jongin, who was staring right at him, something unreadable on his eyes. Sehun looked away, smoothly, and the moment passed. 

Yifan held the door open to him. 

**//**

This is how the story goes: Jongin was a freshman with Sehun, and they shared the same World History class. He was smart, if a little absent, and pretty as all hell. Sehun was gone since the second he put his eyes on his neck (because at the time he was, like, really shy, and didn’t look people in the eye), even if Jongin was as plausible as walking on the moon. Yifan, who was a sophomore, refused to say anything about the subject, and ignored the situation as long as he possibly could (five months). Now, Jongin is a junior and so is Sehun, and the dynamic is still pretty much the same. 

“You should tell him”, Yifan said, from the place on the floor where he was painting his nails a nice pastel yellow. Yifan didn’t believe in the  _ high couture is for girls _ discourse, and had the honor of being named the Most Fashionable Person In High School for two years straight. 

He lost the first one because Zhou Mi was a senior at the time.

Sehun looked at him as if he had just suggested that he killed a puppy with cruelty refinements, which was all the same for his mental health as voluntarily admitting his undying crush to Kim Jongin, soccer star. 

“Why would I do  _ that _ ?” Sehun asked him, almost throwing a pillow at his head. He caught himself just in time, though. If he messed up Yifan’s nail polish he would never hear the end of it. 

“Maybe he likes you back.”

“Psht! He  _ doesn’t _ .”

“Eh, probably not.” Yifan conceded. “But isn’t it better if you know for sure?”

“In what universe?”

“I’m pretty sure that  _ this  _ was the moral lesson that romcom you were watching yesterday was trying to teach you.”

Sehun sighed, rolling around on his bed dramatically. Vivi stared at him judgmentally and a little confused. Why was her dad acting crazy?, she probably was trying to say. Why can’t he be normal? 

“I don’t want to have my heart broken in a thousand small pieces, thank you very much. Why would someone sign up to be slaughtered?” 

“Is this your hidden kink?” 

“I will throw my pillow at your face and you will  _ not  _ have the right to complain.” 

Yifan looked up, startlingly pretty under the artificial light of Sehun’s bedroom, something strange in his usual serious expression. Somewhat vague. “I want you to get over it, tell him and move on. You’re not happy like this, Sehun.” 

“Shouldn’t I be the one judging this?”

“You’re in too deep to see clearly.”

Sehun sighed, diverting his eyes. He patted his bed to Vivi to jump, but she left the room instead. Story of his life. “I just don’t want this to be over.”

“This?”

“Liking someone.” 

“We are teenagers, Sehun.” Yifan said, patronizing. “You will be liking someone new next week.” 

**//**

Sehun walked decisively, trying to project to the world nothing more than confidence and absolute control over his body. Basically, everything he was not feeling, but that he wished he were. He believed that Yifan was right, that was the thing; that he should really get this over with. Crushes weren’t supposed to last for years, and this one only did because he refused to move on. No more, though. It was time to face his feelings like an adult. 

Jongin was leaning against the gate, texting someone on his phone, alone for a change. His scarf was red and contrasted nicely against his tanned skin. Sehun wanted to shower him in compliments about everything, from his hair (casual) to his shoe choice (standard), everything to delay the inevitable and maybe not humiliate himself so much he would never leave his house again. 

“Jongin?” Sehun’s voice was flat, almost emotionless. He was known for his blank stare, a tactic that he learned in kindergarten as the perfect one to make people never bother you. Jongin raised his eyes and smiled. 

It’s possible that Sehun melted a little. 

“Oh Sehun, right? Hi.” 

“Hi. I’m here to, uh.” Sehun took a deep, deep breath, and gave himself a pep talk.  _ You already know he probably doesn’t like you back,  _ it was how it began.  _ This is doomed from the start but you have to do it anyway.  _ “Tell you that I kind of like you?”

Jongin blinked. “What?” 

“That I  _ like  _ like you.” 

“Oh.” Jongin said after a pause, looking for all the world like this was the last thing he ever expected to hear. “Thought you were dating Yifan?” 

“Uh.” that was Sehun’s turn to blink kind of startled. “Not that I know of.”

“Ah.” Jongin nodded to himself.

The awkward silence seemed infinite, even though it only lasted for a minute. 

“So. I’m leaving.” Sehun told him, and nodded maniacally as he left. Jongin kept silent, still looking like he would have been less surprised if Sehun had hit him with a hammer. 

_ Well,  _ Sehun thought to himself.  _ That went well. _

 

**ii. wu yifan**

Jongin sat beside Luhan, who was playing something involving a soccer ball on his phone. “Don’t you have enough real soccer on your life?”, Jongin asked him, who shrugged. Jongin was miserable, which was a new, terrible feeling. For a teenager who was pretty enough and had good athletic qualities he never, ever received a love confession he didn’t see coming. 

He thought Sehun and Yifan were a happy couple. Not only together, but living the dream. Wasn’t it what stopped him every time he thought about flirting with Yifan? 

(That he was not a homewrecker?)

He poked Zitao on the ribs, who squirmed away from him. “What are you doing?” he hissed, batting Jongin’s hand away. Jongin glared at him, feeling betrayed. 

“You said that they were together.” he muttered angrily. 

“Who? What the hell are you talking about?”

“The golden couple!” Jongin answered, pinching Zitao on the arm. 

“Nobody calls them that.” Zitao answered him, condescending. 

“Well, did you say that they were together or did you not?” 

“I didn’t want to raise your hopes about Yifan.” he admitted. “He is great, like, the greatest, but you would be wasting your time.”

“You could’ve told me that! Why did you have to drag Sehun into this!” 

“Ah. It wasn’t, like, a lie? Yifan is  _ gone  _ for Sehun. Real love, that shit. Has been for ages.”

“You dated him.”

“Eh, we fucked around. I knew what I was getting into.”

Jongin sighed, hiding his face with his hands.  _ Deep breaths,  _ he thought.  _ Deep, deep breaths.  _

“I’m in hell.” he declared, which made Luhan look at him. “I’m in living hell.”

**//**

For the rest of the school day, his eyes followed Sehun, who was looking grim, and Yifan, who was looking like he always did. He tried to make sense of the touches and the smiles and the intimacy, the complicity that had sold the idea of a couple to him so easily.  Yifan loved Sehun, that was clear as the sky, but did Sehun know that he loved Yifan too?

**//**

“I’m home!” he yelled as he threw his bag on the couch. His mother was nowhere to be seen. His sisters were both at Uni, living their lives and sending back home sporadics skype calls and LINE texts. Jongin sighed, staring at his dogs.  _ You will never guess what happened today.  _

Monggu wagged his tail, the closest thing to emphatic incentives to speak he would get from this house. “Things are messed up, children. I don’t know what to  _ do. _ ”

He took his phone off his pocket, unlocking the screen and staring at his ballet wallpaper. He wished he could dance till he dropped, literally, but he had to work on a Biology project that was worth half of the final grade. The LINE icon on the notification bar looked just as judgmental as technology could ever be — which is really a lot. 

He opened the app. 

_ What was all that about on the lunch today _ , said the first message flashing under Luhan’s ID.  _ You were being weird all day.  _

_ u fine?  _ was the one Zitao had sent.  _ no,  _ he answered, and blocked his phone again. 

**//**

The story is like this, as much as something could ever be another thing: Jongin had a crush on Yifan way before he knew who Yifan was. He used to stare at him from the other side of the courtyard, trying to will him into looking up from his magazine and maybe wave. A little. He was only a freshman, and Yifan was a sophomore, but he thought that he could have a shot, if he tried. If he spoke up and told Yifan about his feelings. 

One day, he was walking down the corridor, thinking about it, again, trying to shut up the voice on his head — that sounded suspiciously like Zitao — that kept telling him that this was a shit idea. He was walking, and then he rose his eyes, and looked at Yifan, and he was  _ smiling.  _

That was the first time Jongin ever noticed Oh Sehun. 

“Who is he?” Jongin asked Seulgi, a nice girl from his Economy class, during lunch hour that day. Sehun was three people away from them on the lunch line. 

“Uh?” she blinked, confused, and then looked at where Jongin was trying to discreetly point. “Oh Sehun! He is pretty, isn’t he?” 

(He really was). 

Jongin sighed, and smiled at her, and tried for nonchalant. “Is he someone’s boyfriend? I think I heard something about it before…” 

Seulgi inclined her head to the side, looking as much as a puppy as someone possibly could. “I don’t know. Yifan, maybe. They are so close.” 

Jongin nodded, still smiling, and changed the subject to the upcoming Economy big project. Seulgi followed his lead, distracted and worried about her grades,  _ do you know about any tips?  _

He left the hall, his right arm over Luhan’s shoulder in casual camaraderie, and vowed to never think about that again. 

(he, well. he failed). 

**//**

Jongin leaned against Yifan’s neighbor’s locker, staring at him from under his eyelashes. Yifan was making a very valiant attempt at pretending he didn’t exist. Sehun was nowhere to be seen, probably already in his classroom — which Jongin  _ knew _ was true, because he wouldn’t have approached Yifan otherwise. He was kind of running away from Sehun like he was the plague. 

“So. Sehun said he liked me.”

“Really?” Yifan answered him, flatly, but Jongin wouldn’t be discouraged. 

“I were under the impression that you two were the happiest couple in high school.”

“An unfortunate misunderstanding.” 

“Funny thing, it was so easy to think it was true. Because if it looks true, and smells true, and sounds true, then it must be true. But it wasn’t. Why is that?” Yifan glared at him, towering even if he wasn’t that much taller. Jongin sighed. “I don’t want to be a bother, Yifan. I really don’t. It’s just that I was taken by surprise and I’m worried I reacted badly. But maybe you don’t want me to react in any way at all. Do you understand?” 

“No.” Yifan slammed his locker shut. “I don’t.”

“I’m trying to help you! I don’t want to be, like, a homewrecker.” 

“If you like him, Jongin”, Yifan told him, angry but resigned. “then you should tell him that.”

“And if I like someone else?”

“Then you should tell  _ them  _ that.” 

Jongin stared at him, silent for maybe a minute. “Gotcha.” he said, and left. 

Yifan watched him and nodded to himself. What a mess, indeed. 

 

**iii. oh sehun**

Yifan walked beside Sehun, who was rambling about the movie they watched the night before as if they didn’t had watch it together. He was never really coherent before nine o'clock and three cups of coffee, which was why Yifan was mostly tuning him out. He thought about Zitao, inexplicably. They had been happy, that messy sophomore year. Yifan always knew what to hope for, and what just wouldn’t happen. They were on the same page, even when there was no page at all. Their break up was nice and of common accord. They carried on being friends. 

Sehun would never continue as his best friend if everything went to shit. 

“How are you feeling about the Jongin thing?” Yifan interrupted his best friend, already bracing himself for the impact. Sehun blinked at him, betrayed.  _ Can’t you see I’m not ready to talk about this? _ , he was probably trying to say with his facial expression. Yifan needed to know, though. He just couldn’t stand the silence anymore. 

“I don’t know.” he sighed. “I’m just numb, I guess? It was really awkward, and who knows? He was so shocked, I think I should be flattered at my deception powers.” 

“At least it is all in the open now.”  _ In more ways than I could have ever predicted.  _

“Eh, I think you were right, Yifan.” Sehun smiled. “I really do feel better now.” 

**//**

This is how it goes: a boy meets a boy. Boy B lives in the yellow house at the end of the street, and boy A lives in the green one at the beginning. Their parents are friends, as all the few asian parents of the neighbourhood were friends. They grew up having play dates at each other’s homes, and calling each other’s moms Auntie, and each other’s dads Uncle, and each other pets  _ my stepdog _ and  _ my stepcat _ and  _ my stephamster _ . They grew into teenage angst together, and came out of the closet to each other with the certainty that they were loved, and had crushes they fell into and out of love — but their friendship remained strong as diamond. 

Then boy B falls in love with boy A and everything starts to slowly fall apart. 

**//**

Yifan was reading the newest issue of  _ Vogue France,  _ the one he’d had shipped to America because he couldn’t stand not knowing what they were talking about fashion in Paris, and the internet was just not enough. His phone was vibrating with messages on LINE, all of them from Zitao with varying degrees of total hysteria. The last one he had bothered to check read  _ WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE _ , which was the reason he had stopped reading them altogether. 

“Yifan! Aren’t you going to eat dinner?” his mother yelled from the kitchen. He almost couldn’t hear her over the sound of sad chinese music that his father was playing on the piano in the living room, very dramatically. He was doing that because his wife refused to make lasagna and instead made veggie soup. 

“I’m going to, Ma!” he yelled at her, putting down his magazine. “Save me a plate!” 

“Is Sehun going to eat with us?” his father yelled over the music without stopping playing. 

“Sehun left two hours ago!” Yifan yelled back, coming down the stairs jumping all the left degrees. Everything in that house was loud and dramatic, and people still got surprised that he turned out the way he did. 

“But why?” his mother asked him, putting his plate of unappealing veggie soup in front of him. Yifan thought, for a second, about joining Mr Wu’s musical protest. “He always stays for dinner when he spends the afternoon here. He knows we love him!” 

“Sehun is in kind of a mess right now.” he answered, trying to be evasive, but he knew it didn’t work when his mother’s eyes just kind of got really suspicious. 

“The other kids are giving him trouble at school? Should we call his parents? Should we go there to yell ourselves? The Ohs aren’t really the loud type.” 

“Sometimes the only way to solve something is yelling at everyone involved.” Mr. Wu said wisely from the door. 

“You tired of expressing your feelings through music, darling?” Mrs. Wu asked him, very passive aggressively. 

“I’m still angry about this veggie abomination!” 

“Ugh, mom, dad! Can’t y’all just be normal for a second?” Yifan threw a napkin at his father’s general direction. 

“I agree! I will yell at you later, because now we have to focus on Sehun’s struggles.” Mrs. Wu said, decision all over her face. 

“Sehun isn’t struggling…”

“You said he was! What is the truth?”

“Great, dad, the only moment you agree with mom is to gang up on me.”

“All we want to know is about Sehun.” his mother told him diplomatically. “Don’t be so self-absorbed, Yifan.”

“ _ Ugh. _ ”

“So, what is happening. Tell us about what is happening.” 

“Mom! It’s just boy troubles.”

“Oh.” his father nodded knowingly. 

“You’re straight, dad.”

“But I’m attractive! I know all about boy troubles.”

“No, you don’t.” Mrs. Wu threw a piece of tomato at her husband.

“Can we focus here? And you two say that  _ I’m  _ the self-absorbed one.”

“So, tell us, son. What is the problem.”

“Sehun likes this boy, the boy doesn’t like him back, probably, and everything is awkward.” 

“Oh, awkwardness.” Mr. Wu nodded knowingly. 

“ _ Jesus Christ. _ ”

**//**

Yifan realized, then, that he had to make a tactical decision. He could tell Sehun and he could  _ not  _ tell Sehun. He could talk to Jongin or he could  _ not  _ talk to Jongin. A lot of choices, and not a single one of them was a good one. 

Sehun lifted his hand imperiously, asking for one of the chips Yifan was selfishly eating. Yifan glared at the hand, willing it to stop asking for things. Sehun wiggled it. 

“Fine, have some.” he handed over the bag. “Just… Don’t eat all of them.”

“Would I ever eat all of them?” Sehun asked, crumbs falling out of his mouth non-stop because he had stuffed it with two handfuls of chips. 

“You are terrible, you know that?” Yifan told him, sternly. 

“Yeah but you love me!” Sehun yelled at him, choking on the chips. Yifan shook his head, asking himself  _ why do I hate myself so badly.  _

“I do.” he ended up telling his best friend — his one and only best friend. The most important person in his life. “I do love you.”

(you don’t even know how much)

 

**iv. after**

Yifan looked at Jongin, his eyes full of suspicion. “What do you want?” he asked, ignoring the screechy sound that Sehun made after hearing it. Yifan  _ did  _ shut him out completely, all his focus on fight or flight. There was something about Jongin that had always put him on edge. He thought that it was because of Sehun’s ground-breaking crush, but it was probably something else. 

He blinked. 

“I want to talk.” Jongin told him, and then added, “Like adults.”

“With me?”

“Both of you, actually.”

Yifan glanced at Sehun, who was confused like a puppy. He beared a striking similarity to Vivi when he inclined his head like that. Yifan asked himself,  _ is this a good idea?  _ (Probably not).  _ Will Sehun get hurt by this?  _ (Who could know).  _ Will I get hurt by this?  _ (Fuck yes). 

Yifan nodded at Jongin, solemn. Beside him, Sehun took a deep breath. 

“Do you agree?” Jongin asked Sehun, somehow kindly. He didn’t get a answer, but that was okay, since he didn’t look like he was expecting one. It was funny that between the three of them, Jongin was the only one brave enough to sat everyone down and  _ talk _ . 

They walked slowly down the streets, leaving behind the imposing school buildings. The silence extended for a century, no one wanting to be the first one to bring up the awkwardness. Yifan wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t. He was trapped in the jail he built with his hands. His phone vibrated on his pocket, probably Zitao or someone else. His mom, maybe. His dad.

“What do you want to talk about?” asked Sehun, finally. Jongin glanced at the clear blue sky, looking for all the world like an overgrown child with his big coat and red scarf. The clouds were fluffy and white, and Sehun’s face was very pink from the wind. 

“That day, before.” he started, and Sehun went very still. “You took me by surprise.”

“Eh. You really did look startled.” Sehun answered, flat and noncommittally. Yifan wondered to all the gods, what am I doing here? 

“I thought you and Yifan were a couple.” he paused. “It was Zitao who told me that.”

“Zitao has a big mouth”, Yifan muttered, looking straight ahead. Sehun didn’t say anything. Didn’t even denied it for a long minute. 

“People keep thinking that”, he said after a while. Jongin nodded. 

They went left on the end of the block, kept walking without asking each other to where. Sehun nodded, too. 

“Is Luhan alright?” Yifan asked, politely.  _ What do you want to talk _ , his eyes said.  _ Anything _ , Jongin’s answered. 

“He is fine. His knee is better by the day.”

“That’s great”, Sehun told Jongin, mildly. 

Awkward silence went on. 

“Do you like me?” Jongin asked Sehun, and then he asked Yifan. “Do  _ you _ like me?” They both blinked, a little startled, even if Yifan  _ did  _ see this coming. 

“I told you I do.” Sehun breathed. Yifan sighed, wishing that he were anywhere else. He shrugged like,  _ eh. It’s true enough.  _

Jongin nodded. “I think we should date.”

“Date?” Sehun rose an eyebrow, very blank and mild the way he always got when he didn’t know how to react. Yifan sighed again. What a day. 

“You like me, I like you, I like Yifan, Yifan likes you, he also likes me, you like him, why should we not?”

“Is it so easy?” Yifan muttered to himself. Jongin smiled brightly. 

“Just like that. What do you think?”

Sehun stared at Yifan, asking  _ how  _ and  _ why  _ and  _ is that the truth?  _ Yifan averted his eyes, glancing at the remote white clouds on the sky. It was going to rain. 

“I could give it a shot”, Sehun ended up saying. “Do you think this is a good idea?” 

“I have heard worse”, Yifan answered him. 

“Great!” Jongin laughed. “We should go have an ice cream of celebration then!” 

“I’m kind of, uh”, Sehun started, sounding small. “lactose intolerant.” 

“Oh.” Jongin blinked, and Yifan laughed at him. “Well, tacos of celebration, then. Living and also learning new things about each other.”

“I think this is a nice choice”, Yifan told them, tying his blue scarf tighter around his neck.  _ I think we could be happy like this.  _

Sehun held his right hand and Jongin’s left one, looking already really adapted to everything. Uh. If this isn’t a sign. 

They kept walking, the rain soft around their faces. Is this life?, Sehun wondered to himself. Is this love? 

(everything sounded so warm 

— and safe —

that it  _ must be  _ true) 

**Author's Note:**

> the three in three acts bears the same logic of the three musketeers. [winky face]


End file.
